A bit of a different post today! I have been blogging now for a few weeks and have been keeping up with posting a blogpost a day, everyday which fits in rather well with the Daily Hayley name! However I am going to have to take a short hiatus (flashback to One Direction saying that...) for a week or two as I am having an operation! This is my first operation in my life. I've never had an anaesthetic, not even for a pulled tooth. I've never been to the doctor for more than tonsillitis. But in April this year I found that I had gallstones and needed my gallbladder removed. Nearly 7 months later the surgery date has come around.
I wasn't going to talk about it on here and was going to schedule some posts, but then I realised that this blog is a platform to share thoughts and also to help people. I have found myself over the months googling and looking for advice or people's stories on their operations, to act as a comfort for my own. With this is mind I thought maybe by me talking about my experience it may help someone out there! So this is a list (we all know how much I love a good list) of thoughts, apprehensions and views that are going through my head days before I have surgery. I thought it would be fun to do this in a 'letter-to-my-future-self' sort of style. I hope this is helpful or a comfort to anyone else going through a first time even a second, third) operation as they are worrisome, but we are all in the same boat and thinking the same things. And we will all get through it together!
I realise this post isn't catered to everyone, so if you are not interested in my operation themed ramblings then I will be back soon with my regular content. But if you are and this helps you in any way to feel not so alone in these pre-op feelings, then I've done my job well!
Dear Future Gallbladder-less Me,
I am currently a few days away from surgery and am quite frankly bricking it. Or gallstoning it, as they are the reason I'm in this situation in the first place. I heard once that writing your worries down is very therapeutic. So this is my form of pre-op anxiety therapy. (They did say to burn the notes after, but I'm writing this on an iPad and I don't think Apple would be too happy!)
Things I'm Worried About...
The drive to the hospital. The waiting in the waiting room. Basically the morning of the op and all the waiting it involves. I'm booked in for one of the first surgeries of the day, so I have to be at the hospital for 7AM, meaning I will have to wake up at 5. On a normal day I would be outraged at this sleep intrusion, but I know I will not be sleeping a wink the night before. Maybe that's a good thing as it means I will be tired and won't mind drifting off to sleep with the anaesthetic? I know once I'm up and the countdown is on, my nerves and anxiety will set in and all the waiting around will only amplify it.
Anaesthetic. I have a couple of questions on this topic...
What does it feel like?
Will I get the giggles or be off my face like the girl who thought the zombie apocalypse had happened after she had her teeth pulled?
Will I hallucinate? Hopefully of Harry styles...
Do they really ask you to count back from 10? Do you really only reach 7?
Is the sensation of being knocked out the same as fainting?
When you wake up does it feel like you've been asleep for a minute or a month?
What do you feel like when you wake up?
Can you see Harry? Haha
I'm worried for my Mum + dad because I know they will worry. I think it's worse for them because now they will be the ones waiting around, while I'm knocked out and won't know what's going on or be aware. They have been so good to me and have 100% supported me and I'm so so grateful to them for everything!
Slightly odd one but...will I be naked on the operating table? This thought came after a rather giggle filled conversation with a good friend. We were discussing hospital attire and the mention of the famous gown came up. Then it occurred to me that as I am having my abdomen operated on...how are they going to access that if I'm in a gown?!
Pain. This one speaks for itself. I'm going to be having keyhole surgery. Where did they make incisions? Are they painful - scale of 1 - rip my hair out? What are the bandages like?
Something I'm looking forward to...Hummus. The nature of my operation means I can eat again after a VERY restricted diet of 6 months. I have craved hummus (and it has become a bit of an in joke between those close to me) that I will be eating it by the spoonful. When was the first taste of it? Did it taste as good as I remember? I hope my taste buds haven't changed and hummus is off the menu!
Recovery. Will I sleep more than Rapunzel or whatsherface? Will it be painful? Will the wounds be big? Will they heal? How long before I feel normal again?
Yours Worridly,
Me!
So this was just a bit of light hearted fun, with some of the thoughts I have on my upcoming op to show you that it's okay to feel worried and anxious - it's a normal and natural response. But please know they are just emotions and you will be okay. In all seriousness, if you are going through the same and are worried then there are some really good websites that can help, if you Google "prepping for surgery help" or "surgery anxiety". It's normal to feel apprehensive as it's the fear of the unknown. But once you see that everyone has the same worries, it makes you feel comforted that you're not the only one, and that's what I've tried to do with this post. I hope you enjoyed! Also if you want to discuss further anything about ops or anything like that then follow me on Twitter @HayleyShannon8.
So for now I am on my hiatus of a week or two while I have my gallbladder removed and recover a little. I will update you on the answers to the above questions as and when I can! Might also do a part two entitled "Dear Stupid Gallbladder..."
Thanks for reading!
Hayley x
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