I wrote a "Letter To My Future Post-Op Self" on 31st October 2016, which was 3 days away from my surgery. I think it's only fair to respond to this and tell you how it went, for anyone out there who is going through a similar situation - with the same thoughts and worries that I mentioned, to show you what it's like on the flip side of the surgeons table. P.S his table didn't flip. Well I bloody hope not anyway!
Dear Pre-Surgery + Worried Me,
First of all...CHILL OUT! It's actually (surprisingly) not as bad as you think. I know that's the biggest cliche of them all, but honestly it's true. That's coming from a super wimp + worrier. So if I can say it wasn't that bad, then you know it wasn't! So let's address the panicky points...
1) The morning of the op + all its anxious waiting.
First of all, I did get a good nights sleep. I watched a few good films on Netflix (including "I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House - which was scarily good) so I was cream crackered and konked out. I woke up at half 4 with my cat cuddling up next to me. My Mum helped me get ready and my Dad drove us there. The drive was actually fine - my Mum + Dad were on top form with the banter and made me laugh a lot of the way! When we got into the hospital, I changed into my gown and stockings (someone call vogue) and then the wait was on. My Mum + Dad were allowed to come and sit with me, and honestly it wasn't as anxiety filled as I had imagined. We joked around and talked about all the things I'd be able to eat after the retched gallbladder was zilched. It's funny, but once I was there and knew it was going to happen soon, it was like my game-face came on. I didn't feel nervous or anxious - I just felt this surge of adrenaline that powered me on as if to say "right lets do this!" It also helped listening to a grown man shout frothe next waiting room "NO MATE I WILL NOT WEAR THEM KNICKERS!" Haha! So all in all the morning of the op was absolutely fine! Thanks to my lovely Mum + lovely Dad + also the brilliant nursing staff :)
2) Anaesthetic Alright?
I was VERY lucky in this department. I had two wonderful anaesthetists who made me feel so comfortable and very at ease. Firstly, I was lead down to the operating theatre by a nice nurse (who looked a lot like Dermot O'Leary - I was half expecting him to do the trademark spin as he came through the doors) he sat with me for a while and then I was met by lovely anaesthetist number 1 - a cheery lady who complimented me on my hair and put me at ease right away with her chattyness! She wheeled me down into the room before the theatre. It wasn't scary looking or anything, nothing like the horror you imagine it'll be. Sweeney Todd was nowhere to be seen. She chatted away with me about hair, our cats (she told me she was planning on dressing her cats up in antlers for a photo to put on her Christmas cards this year) which made me giggle and feel so much better about it all. She then told me that she'd had her own gallbladder out - and her sister, which put me completely at ease. (I know I was at ease, as I had the clothes peg type pulse monitor on and could hear my heart rate was normal and not racing at all!) Then lovely anaesthetist number 2 came in - a smiley man called Matt Smith (not the Dr - ironic?) haha! He was very friendly and began to find a vein to put the anaesthetic in. Only problem was, he couldn't find one! So he began rubbing my hands to warm them up! After a little while, and to no vein avail, he said he would give me a little bit of oxygen. He then popped a mask over my mouth. I took one breath and the next time I can recall I was waking up in a ward! I actually remember thinking "oh I must be in a queue for my op now" but when I looked at the clock I realised it had been 2hrs and I must've had it done! I couldn't believe it and when the surgeon came to speak to me, my first question was "has it been done yet?" So in answer to my questions:
- It feels like taking in a breath of air, like when the breeze catches you a bit off guard and you breath in quite a bit.
- I didn't get the giggles, but I did feel very tired and "out-of-it" but that was quite nice to have a rest!
- They didn't ask me to count as they did it without me knowing, which I was SO grateful for! Rather than telling me "right we're putting you to sleep now" where I would've panicked. Thank you lovely anaesthetists!!
- The sensation of actually being knocked out doesn't feel like anything! I know it sounds silly but it doesn't feel like fainting or falling down a rabbit hole like Alice, it feels like breathing in and blinking. I closed my eyes, and opened them waiting in the ward!
3) Mum + Dad
I worried for my Mum + Dad. They were very worried. They did their utmost to make me feel comfortable and happy and to make me laugh, and for that I'm so, so grateful! I couldn't have got through it without them. They are my rocks and I love them so dearly.
4) Attire and modesty on the operating table.
I mean from the get go, let me just explain that this was a very fashion forward day. Sporting the latest in the clinical couture of a dotty printed gown (that I tied up all wrong + probably flashed people as I went to be weighed), the tightest stockings known to man - similar to when you put your tights in the wash on the wrong spin cycle and they come out suitable for a 2yr old to wear, slippers that could only be described as a sponge with a foot shaped hole in and a hair net that dinner ladies across the country would be proud off. Yes you'll see similar pieces on the catwalks soon. I was provided with some garments to wear underneath said gown - what their use was I don't know, as it certainly wasn't to protect your modesty thanks to the
fact they were completely see-through. I'm not talking about sexy-lace-hunting-at-see-through that you'd find in Victoria Secret. Nope. Full on transparent. What's worse was when I woke up, THEY HAD BEEN CUT ON ONE SIDE! Why?! I still don't know why that happened, but I do know it caused everyone to stifle a giggle when I told them...As for being naked, I have no idea if I was and quite frankly I'd rather not know haha!
5) Pain
I had keyhole surgery + woke up to find 4 (3x2) dressings adorning my stomach in a pattern that resembled a star constellation. The top one was just under where your bra would sit, two on the right side by your hips and one in your belly button! Once the dressings were removed the scars were about half an inch long. But the best thing is - THEY DID NOT HURT! When I can round from the op, I was in no pain at all. All through my recovery - NO PAIN! They inject each scar with anaesthetic which gets rid of any pain! Thank you, don't mind if I do Dr! The only slight annoyance, not really what you'd call a pain, was you do have sore shoulders for a day or two as they inflate your belly a small bit with air (I wonder if it's with a foot pump like for car tires and paddling pools?) and it rises to your diaphragm which can cause a little ache. But I've found warm water works wonders for this!
6) HUMMUS!
I first had hummus again the very next night after my op whilst watching X Factor! It was delicious and everyone who knows me got an annoying selfie of me diving head first into it! I hadn't been able to eat properly for months + months and was basically living on cup-a-soups + rich tea biscuits. When I came round and was sat in recovery waiting to be discharged, the lively nurse there (called Julieann) brought me some toast! It was like she'd brought me a massive choccie cake haha! Delish!
7) Recovery!
Recovery was brilliant - Thank God ❤️ I had a few days in bed, needed to be helped up when I'd sat for too long and it hurt to laugh for the first few days! But in about 2-3 days I felt better! My only weird after effect was I lost all feeling in my left foot! I was walking around like Agador Spartacus when he had to wear shoes.
Yours stuffing-face-with-hummus,
Me!
Hope you enjoyed reading that! I thought it would be a light-hearted but informative way to inform you of what happened and my thoughts on it. I also thought it might be helpful to anyone who has upcoming surgery and has similar worries to me. I know in the days before mine, I would look at blogs and records of people's surgeries to get comfort from them so it wasn't so "fear of the unknown!" Very best of luck to you for your surgery!
I'd like to thank my amazing Mum + Dad for all they do to help me and for being there for me. I love them so much + am so very grateful! Also thank you to all the hospital staff who were so lovely - the nurses, Dermot O'Leary nurse, the lovely anaesthetists, the toast nurse, and of course the surgeon + his surgical team! Thank you Lord for helping me ❤️
So now I've filled you in (humming Craig David now) I thought I'd tell you a bit about my plans for this here blog. I'm going to be posting on topics such as beauty, fashion and maybe even travel about places I've been to recently and things I've seen! I hope you stick around for my ramblings!
Hayley x
